Coming back from a week of holidays with some friends, I found myself in a situation where, on my way to Madrid, I had a 5-hour stop at…. Bologna Airport. That same Bologna, Italy, which is the place of my favorite Zwift circuit.
As you can imagine, I nearly wet my pants in excitement. This immediate incontinence reminded me of when I received the Guns’n’Roses “Appetite for Destruction” CD for my birthday. (Unfortunately, I did not own a CD player yet, nor have the money to buy one, making this CD something as useful as an anvil powerup on Tempus Fugit.)
A Pilgrimage to IRL Bologna TT circuit
Without thinking twice, I decided that I would go and try to do the TT circuit IRL. I am as compulsive and innocent as that.
Since I am a recce freak (when you see Sherpa Dave or Si Bradeley Youtube Recces with 6,000 views, half of them are mine), I needed to visualize the challenge. Which led me up many steps, to learn that this is how the marvel of a circuit looks from the top of the Asinelli tower, the highest in town:
Once at the starting point next to Neptune fountain, I began to think if I would go TT Bike or Climbing bike…. which is always the dilemma when you are about to start the Bologna TT. I am totally convinced that a TT bike is better, the data is there, however I can’t prevent myself from thinking I am the dumbest guy in the world when I climb Via di San Luca at 14% gradient with a Speedmax.
There Is No Bike Garage IRL
It took me a good 30 seconds to acknowledge that I had no choice. This was IRL and whatever my preference might be, the only thing I would be able to ride is the following beauty:
Without further ado, let me introduce Dolly, a glowing partially electric 27kg bike-sharing treasure, that I would rent for 3 Euros per hour to the city of Bologna. All it took was the time to sign up in the ride-sharing app, scan the QR code, and put my 8kg backpack in the bike. Then Dolly said through her speaker “La bicicletta è sbloccata”, meaning it was unlocked and we were ready for the adventure.
The Ride of My Dreams
Dolly immediately showed she was up for it. As soon as I was pedaling a little bit she would deliver a comparable amount of watts which made it almost effortless to go really fast. At that time I thought maybe I would be able to beat my 15 minutes 54 seconds mark on the TT. What a delusional human being I am…
Three minutes into my ride, arriving at the end of Via Ugo Bassi, I was ready to jump into Via San Felice when the first incident occurred… Via San Felice is a one-way street in the opposite direction of the Bologna TT. ARRRRRRRRGHHHHHH!!!!!!
According to psychologists, discovering that most of your dreams and wishes cannot come true is something human beings usually integrate into their thinking process when they are 6-8 years old. For me it took 45 years, 10 months, and 17 days. Performing the exact Zwift Bologna TT circuit riding Dolly will be, forever, the last magical thought I had.
I stopped Dolly and grabbed my phone to create a different itinerary to match as closely as possible the virtual TT Zwift Insider Verified segment. I managed it more or less, but overall what I wanted was to arrive at Via di San Luca from Via Porretana, and have that almost u-turn to start the climb.
Normally on Zwift I have a certain kind of apprehension 500 meters before the start of the climb, but this time I was really excited. When Arco del Meloncello showed up I was as impressed and emotional as the day I had Bernard Hinault next to me and I could not pronounce a single word (me remaining silent on any occasion is something that was believed scientifically impossible before that event).
Via di San Luca: Fighting with Dolly
When I turned right and Via di San Luca was there, standing in front of me, I had the same automatism as in Zwift. I stepped up on the pedals and started pushing as hard as possible. I could see that Dolly did not expect that one. Certainly it was the first time she had ever been brought to Via di San Luca. To my disappointment, it was obvious she did not like it. Her battery dramatically depleted almost immediately: “La batteria è scarica”.
Dolly was totally aligned with my way of racing – she gave it all without really calculating and now was dying slowly but surely, not even one-fifth through the climb. But she was not aligned at all with my resilience. NEVER SURRENDER!
As I was preparing myself to lose the additional watts provided by the battery, what I could not anticipate under any circumstance was that Dolly would react super badly to the fact I was voicing my disappointment to her. So when the battery reached 0%, not only did she no longer help, but she decided to simply and definitely lock herself: “Si prega di parcheggiare la bicicletta.”
I was being told to park the bike, and I reacted as any mature adult would do, pushing even harder on the pedals in pure denial. “Si prega di parcheggiare la bicicletta! Si prega di parcheggiare la bicicletta! Si prega di parcheggiare la bicicletta!”. The resistance was becoming stronger and stronger and I was at almost 170 BPM HR, advancing at 7 km/h max. At one point Dolly stopped shouting “Si prega di parcheggiare la bicicletta.”
I felt relieved. The resistance was super strong but at least I was not being snitched by Dolly in front of other people (suggesting I was stealing her). So I told myself that it was now a fight between Dolly and myself. And I would not let her win… I thought.
Thirty seconds after she stopped shouting “Si prega di parcheggiare la bicicletta” the alarm of the bike was triggered. An awfully loud and strident alarm attempting to make it clear I was showing inappropriate behavior towards Dolly.
I suddenly felt like a criminal, all eyes pointing at me. So I stopped pedaling – and Dolly’s alarm stopped – and I took my phone to end the ride and park Dolly almost halfway the climb.
But, as one disaster never occurs in isolation, I was not in a designated parking area, so the app would not let me park Dolly there, indicating that the closest place to park her was… at the start of the climb. I waved a white flag and started to believe that I was cursed, that I would never be able to finish the climb.
But as mentioned a few lines ago… I never surrender. I would not leave without seeing the Sanctuary of San Luca.
The Bike Ride Turned Duathlon
I brought Dolly almost a kilometer down – it shows in the Strava data of the activity – and decided I would climb San Luca walking.
I can say without any doubt that Zwift did a great job visually reproducing the circuit.
However, I could not prevent myself from shedding a tear being in such a magnificent environment. The views and the scenery were incredible. The smell and the noises are things that are virtually unreplicable and were giving my climb this particular feeling of being fully alive. Sorry if I am becoming a bit metaphysical here, but I live for those moments which remain engraved in your memory forever. I cherish them even more now, after 2 years in which I have not traveled at all. I remember Petra (Jordania), Kyoto Temples (Japan), Yosemite Park (USA), the Alhambra in Granada (Spain), Mont Saint-Michel (France), and some other unique moments which will be joined by the climb of Via di San Luca.
There is no other way to explain the sound of Via di San Luca in June than actually recording and playing it:
I assume that what we are hearing are cicadas from there, and you would not believe how loud it was. It sounded like they were celebrating and encouraging all those almost to the top of the climb and cheering them up to get it done!
The Holy Grail
When the church of San Luca appeared at the end of the road, I was so dehydrated that I was no longer sweating. My t-shirt was half wet and half white because of the dried salt, but I was the happiest man on earth.
The last two hundred meters of the climb were full celebration, as I was exchanging messages with my former teammates from Jerbos and especially Alberto, who shares my devotion to Bologna Circuit.
Once on the top, I stayed for 15 minutes in silence. I could not get myself to leave. I felt at home. Home…. S**T! With all these bumps in the road I was arriving late to my flight! I grabbed a cab and before I could say anything I understood I would not have to encourage the driver to go faster as the guy was a reincarnation of Juan Manuel Fangio.
End to End Positivism Doctrine
On the plane to Madrid, I could not prevent myself from smiling like an idiot thinking about what I had done. It was totally unplanned, it was chaotic, and I was totally overwhelmed by joy.
This wave of positivism was so huge that it showed also in my Covid auto-test arriving at home.
For the few that made it through the entire post, I am almost asymptomatic so far. Just a little headache, and some muscular fatigue.
I leave you with a few other pictures of Via di San Luca and send you all a big big Ride On!
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