The newest episode of Nowhere Fast rolls into the Zwift season with its trademark mix of cycling news, casual chaos, and self-inflicted existential dread. The hosts recap their summers — which, in true virtual-cycling fashion, featured more KOM-hunting intentions than actual training — before diving into another classic Zwift storyline: someone cheated again. Apparently, virtual racing continues to deliver scandals with the reliability of a dropped chain on a neglected trainer bike.
At one point, Kevin makes a comparison that perfectly sums up the vibe: the latest “exit racing” format is basically the gluten-free pasta of virtual cycling — technically the same activity, but somehow missing flavor, texture, and joy.
The episode also marks a real-life milestone for host Zach Schuster, proving at least one member of the podcast occasionally contributes something meaningful to society outside Watopia.
The overall tone is equal parts mockery and affection — a reminder that while the racing is digital and sometimes ridiculous, the enthusiasm (and inability to stop caring) is painfully real.
About the Podcast
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At the bottom of the climb, our favourite sticky watt master, Eddy Hoole of CRYO, attacks from the bottom. Blows everyone away. They show the cam on him: he’s not doing sticky watts, he’s pedalling like a normal human being, and he is pegged at mid-500 watts. With like 4k to go, or whatever it is. He does not drop. He bridges the 30-second gap, drops everyone, and wins. He did 8.4W/kg for almost four and a half minutes. That is 50% longer, and the same wattage, as Jay Vine did in the World Championships. He did a better performance than Jay Vine did to win the World Championships, a guy who won multiple Grand Tour stages this year. And this is from a guy who got like 56th at the World Champsionships last year, and had a similar heart rate at 50% of the wattage on the final climb. Nine months later, he’s doubled his W/kg at the same heart rate, and extended the duration by 50%. It does not make any sense, whatsoever. I don’t know how, with a straight face, anyone can watch that and go “that’s a real thing”. That guy needs, right now, to go outside on a five-minute climb, and go blow out 550W for 5 minutes. And if he can do that, give him a drug test, and then I’ll believe him.