Lucianotes: Our Silly Pre-TTT Routines

Lucianotes: Our Silly Pre-TTT Routines

I love my team, I love each single one of them. And most of them I never met. What is incredible is that we start knowing each other to the extent we don’t care to get exposed.

Zwift racers like sharing fun moments before and after the races. If there is one part I enjoy big time it is the five minutes before the start of a TTT, when all team members are going back to their particular routines and you witness it through the Discord channel.

The captain checking everyone joined the event and is in the pen: “So you stop pedaling 30 seconds before the countdown otherwise you will cross the starting line and we will be disqualified, we go in 5 minutes afterwards, Jack and I put the timer, we tell you when it is time. Is everybody in the pen? I see only three of you, who is missing?” That last sentence is great, because obviously the one missing by default cannot answer because he’s not there, but next time the captain will ask the very same question…

You also have the superstitious one shifting gears one by one seven times up and down because one time, in 2004, he did it and finished second in the race crowning the champion of his neighborhood. Still to date his best result in his career. He does that in silence and almost hiding himself, because he is ashamed of it, however, he can’t prevent shifting the gears…

The Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder one: “Towel check, Isotonic drink check, Discord channel connected check, cereal bar check, shoes tightened check, Zwift Companion opened check, Bluetooth true wireless connected check, shoes laces adjusted check… Did I connect to Discord? Need to start again otherwise the world will come to an end before the start of the KOM. Towel check, isotonic drink check, Discord channel check…”

The one pretending not to be nervous and singing out loud totally out of tune: “………And I said, oooooooooooooooh, I’m blinded by the liiiiiiiiiiights. No, I can’t sleep until I feel your touch! I said, ooooooooooh, I’m drowning in the niiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Oh, when I’m like this, you’re the one I trust!”

The one reminding all others the distance and gradients of each single minute of the circuit, and nobody listens: ” … so kilometer 1.6 you have 166 meters at 3%, then 280 meters at 6% remember cadence at 80 there, 4.5wkg for 6 seconds before we reach the flat, that is when Joe takes the lead at 4wkg for 35 seconds unless he gives the signal he is toast and then it is Jack leading. Now remember Jack does not like to push hard in the first half so better to be always aware, right guys? RIGHT GUYS!!!!?”

The one with connection issues on Discord and repeating one hundred times the same sentence as if it would change something: “Do you hear me? Do you hear me? I don’t hear you, do you hear me? Can someone text me in telegram if you hear me?! Do you hear me? I don’t hear you do you hear me? Do you hear me? Now do you hear me? I am disconnecting and reconnecting so you hear me but do you hear me? Do you hear me?”

What is fun is that each of us believes the routines of the others are exaggeratedly ridiculous while underestimating immensely the craziness of our own routine…

Can’t wait for next TTT.

About The Author

Luciano Pollastri

Luciano is a French-Argentinian living in Madrid, Spain. He landed by mistake on Zwift in March 2020, and, according to his wife, staying there because of some strange variant of the Stockholm Syndrom yet to be diagnosed. Passionate about all the little things making us feel alive and together when being part of a team.

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Tosin Akinmusuru
Tosin Akinmusuru
18 days ago

You forgot about the one that hasn’t set his trainer up yet, and hasn’t gotten on discord, but it’s in the pen, making everyone nervous because he’s doing laundry.

Troels Walsted Hansen
Troels Walsted Hansen
18 days ago

We’ve been doing the WTRL TTTs for a couple of months now, and I think every single week we go through the same routine where we hunt for which person is causing noise on Discord. Then we go through the whole checklist of figuring out whether it is due to noise suppression settings, headset issues, mic gain settings, etc. The worst part is when you hear the team going through this exercise and then after a long time you realize that you are the one causing noise…

Oliver Radermacher
Oliver Radermacher
17 days ago

Great article, thanks for this :-)! We are a group of 9 in the meantime who have met by chance on Zwift (and unfortunately never met IRL so far 🙂 ) and first created Meetups on Sunday mornings before we now started to build a team and to race WTRL. And your words are so true as we all become and are very nervous just before each race. “Yelling” at discord to stay together as long as possible, the choice of the right bike for the race, a short “extra-stopp” just minutes before the start and so on. But all… Read more »

grant.b.smith (@grant-b-smith)
17 days ago

What about the one who needs to nervous pee 10 times in the last 5 minutes (me), or the guy who lets his trainer fall asleep in the pen

Tim Perkin
Tim Perkin (@tperkin)
16 days ago

Great article. So funny. 👍

bolanbiker (@bolanbiker)
16 days ago

Don’t forget the tens of messages sent beforehand with strategy, questions, and everything else imaginable. And all the messages afterwards. It all helps us know our teammates as if we were riding in the same room. (And some day, maybe we will have that honor–I know a lot of my virtual teammates have met IRL,) As for the quirks, we would have it no other way.

Ed h
Ed h
12 days ago

So to get the mega pretzel badge you just keep riding? Do you have to know the route? Or does it keep you on track to the end of the mega pretzel

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