After rubbing virtual elbows with countless riders in my storied B-category Zwift racing career, I’ve found many of us have developed similar habits and obsessions due to the unique experience that is virtual bike racing. Outdoor racing has its own set of sillies, of course – but here are some just for fun, and just for Zwift.
#1: Blaming better riders for sandbagging instead of admitting we’re weak. (This goes for Strava segments too.)
Did you lose to someone who made a long breakaway? Definitely a height doper. Lost in the sprint? They’re sandbagging and need to be up a category. You ranked 14,354th on the Strava segment? That’s 14,353 cheaters, discovered!
#2: Only updating our Zwift weight when we’re lighter.
Most cyclists are in touch with their bodies enough to know when they’re a bit “heavy” and when they’re extra light. Feeling bloated? No need to weigh in and update our Zwift weight today. But if it’s a light day, you can bet we’ll be on the scales and happily updating our profile! Here’s a handy chart I sketched up to show how it works:
#3: Weighing ourselves totally naked, first thing in the morning.
Sure, the official Zwift Esports rules say to weigh in wearing your shorts and a jersey. But I don’t even wear a jersey on Zwift! And the bibs add 6 ounces of weight that aren’t my body weight. So really, the only fair thing is to weigh in naked. First thing in the morning. After a trip to the bathroom.
#4: Obsessing over virtual equipment timings.
In outdoor racing we know instinctively that a few seconds of aero advantage over an hourlong race really doesn’t matter at all. But something about seeing the cold, hard numbers on Zwift makes us obsess over which frame and wheels to use. And if it’s a TT… watch out! Time to pull an all-nighter.
#5: Congratulations! You’ve shrunk.
Generally speaking, humans want to be taller. But on Zwift, shorter is faster. Thus you have riders, especially those in their 40’s and up, rejoicing because they’ve discovered they’re actually a bit shorter than they were in in their 20’s. (Happened to me this summer, in fact.)
#6: ZwiftPower refresh, or nervous tick?
Serious Zwift racers know that the only real results are those on ZwiftPower. Especially in lower categories, you’ll often finish higher in ZwiftPower’s results due to other riders being DQ’d due to sandbagging or not being signed up for ZwiftPower.
But those results don’t show up immediately. And thus you’ll find sweaty, tired cyclists constantly refreshing their screens, waiting for the results to populate. Pageviews would drop by 90% if the site could just populate results immediately!
#7: Cheering when another rider gets coned.
The green cone of shame pops up in races which have Zwift’s (still beta) anti-sandbagging controls activated. It’s based on acceptable 1 and 5-minute power windows for each race category, and thus is used to indicate when someone is sandbagging.
And let’s just admit it – there’s no better feeling than seeing the cone appear above the rider who’s attacking off the front way too early on the final lap of Crit City.
#8: Discounting anyone on ZPower.
Although we know deep down at a rider on ZPower could be a strong athlete, that’s more and more doubtful given how pervasive smart trainers are today. And so, any time we’re beat by someone using virtual power, we’re quick to dismiss their performance. Because surely no other rider could be that much stronger than us (see #1)!
#9: Judging IRL bikes based on in-game performance.
If we think about it rationally, it makes no sense. But humans aren’t rational creatures. And that’s why, as we ponder which new bike to buy for outdoor riding, the new Canyon Aeroad seems amazing, while the Pinarello F12 is a total dog(ma). In-game performance is influencing real-world buying decisions.
#10: Shaving our legs.
To the rest of the world, it seems a bit silly for a man to shave his legs – even for outdoor racing. But we all do it anyway (roadies, at least). The first shave was just an experiment, but our legs just looked too good and felt too aero to let the hair grow back. And now here we are, in the dead of winter, shaving our legs to prepare for a Zwift race…
Perfectly normal. Nothing to see here.
#11: Blaming the powerup gods.
Got beat in the final sprint? It’s because you didn’t have an aero boost. Dropped on that climb? A feather would have saved you.
Other riders had them. Why didn’t you get them one? Luck of the draw, I guess. Certainly not a question of fitness.
#12: Picking events that suit us, instead of events that make us stronger.
Yes, I need to train my VO2 power to become a well-rounded cyclist. But those Crit City races are much more fun, and I’ve got a good sprint! Choosing your Zwift races is a constant battle between two options:
- The race that plays to my strengths but doesn’t push me to the limit
- The race that reveals my weakness but makes me stronger
What About You?
Come on, racers. There’s no shame in admitting that you’ve done some or all what I’ve listed above. What I’m more curious about is: what did I miss? Share below!
Haha!!! 10 out of 12!!!! Missing the shaving (I will start right away) and choosing the races suiting me (keep that one for next year so I have some buffer)
Chapeau!
What blows my mind is how many Zwifters don’t ride outdoors at all. Their first bike is being using 100% in the man/woman cave. There’s a beautiful world out there, filled with suv drivers on cell phones and poor chip seal roads. You’re all missing out!
and wind of course… dont forget the wind.
You have to shave… what if you come off your trainer at high speed… think of the carpet-rash…
These are great! I will readily admit to #6 and it’s probably x3 or so. 😀
I’m the opposite of #3 as I’m trying to avoid ending up in the B category so if I’m a little heavy and a little slower in an event, the trade off is fine because I’ll be able to hang in the starts as opposed to the insta-drop that happens to me in B races. I’m not sure that’s reverse sandbagging…😬
#8? Well, duh…all those Zpower riders aren’t fast IRL. They just need to get a smart trainer and they’ll be in the D cat. 😁
#10. I used to shave when I was racing IRL and got a load of crap about it from my wife and friends. It was worth it because I felt faster and we all know the mental aspect is 75% of the effort. The first time I shaved was before a TT with my brother and I beat him so obviously I was faster!
Reverse sandbagging is a thing! I’d call it reverse weight doping though: https://zwiftinsider.com/reverse-weight-doping/
Re #10… the Specialized Win Tunnel said it translated to a 79-second advantage on a 40km TT! https://www.velonews.com/news/news-wind-tunnel-data-shows-shaved-legs-faster/
#10 – especially when zwifting…That’s why I’ve put my fan behind me instead of in front 😛
A Zwift point of note from the Specialized Wind Tunnel test, the article lists Mark Cote as one of the Specialized employees in charge of the tunnel. He is a recent hire at Zwift and is now a member of the team for Zwift.
Regarding the “Reverse Weight Doping”, I’m not winning any races as a C thus far. I got upgraded to B last year and it really took the fun out of racing on Zwift. Getting shelled out the back instantly at the start and riding the rest of the event as a solo TT really sucked. Then I got injured and ended back up in C. I still ride my nuts off but at least I’m in the mix.
Zwift needs to come up with a better way of establishing the various cats. A long time ago I was a solid Cat 3 racer in USAC. No wins but I was able to make the selection most races. That’s really all we want out of any amateur competition.
This is why I always prefer events that have all the categories start at once, especially in events that don’t have a lot of participants.
Agreed Max! I recently got promoted to B. Since then I prefer the mixed category races, because it’s no fun riding solo or with 1 or 2 others in the back.
got coned in b group today for doing 5.1 wpk but i was doing 200 watts, i’m only twelve, whats next A group, ha ha
this is because its broken for kids and unrealistic for zwift riding at 30kg or less.
I don’t think “#12: Picking events that suit us, instead of events that make us stronger.”
is unacceptable behaviour. In fact, it is practiced by everyone who races on a bike.
We don’t see track pursuiters doing multi-hour 150km road races. Also, we don’t see downhill fanatics doing bunch races at the track or time-trials.
While those are extreme examples to make the point it is not that different to see sub-specialization in road racing or time trials.
Remember the goal is to train your weaknesses and race your strengths. If you suck at a particular type of race (too long, too short, too flat, too much climbing, or any combination of those) you won’t enjoy doing them.
Yes, you should also train your weaknesses. But at some point you have to accept that your genes are working against you and you will simply never be a sprinter.
Somebody took this article waaaayyy too seriously
Actually, there isn’t too much on the list I find me doing – except for #10, which, as you’ve said is perfectly normal 😉
However, there’s one thing close to #6: When will live data in ZP be replaced after finishing the event and why does it never work after I’ve thrown in some sprints to finally increase my short term power? Grr, stupid green bolt…
Seriously, any tips to update power data to get rid of those capped power curves? Thank you!
#8 is a good point. Its hard to believe the hateful scorn folks give to anyone not on the latest greatest smart trainer. I was on “virtual” (hate the confusion with ZwiftPower the site) for a year or so when I first got on Zwift like 5 years ago, and when I finally got on a real power meter, it actually read higher than my virtual did… That being said, I know that there are plenty that are very questionable ones out there, so I can see where the tendency comes from…
Just got a WK Snap that finally was in stock and off my cyclops fluid 2. Simlar results for me with my watts going up. Went from mid pack D to somewhere in the Cs. Still doing my first few races in the Cs finding out where belong before next ZRL so my team can figure where to put to me for racing.
you don’t fit the stereotype discussed here! In A cat races there are buggers on zpower holding 5+ wkg for entire races for lower cats it’s less likely to be an issue since these guys just fly off the front and go TT mode.
How many times today am I going to look at the Zwift companion app (or ZwiftHacks) to review my ride choices for tonight/tomorrow/this weekend?
Ok so #3 every day, but I’ve been doing that since before I was a cyclist. Also maybe #’s 4, 8, and 11. Shaving will probably start tonight since we’re forecasting highs in the 70’s this week. Come on, Spring!
#13; Badge hunting in a massive group with double draft.
#14; Riding the Alpe doing a workout.
#15; doing a FTP test and sitting with the Bot rider in a huge group
ive not done any of the above, but OMG!
I’m riding Alpe during workouts several times a week. What’s wrong with plenty of extra XP for free!
Even have a 2h workout that’s 10min warmup, 49min Z2 up Alpe, 12min Z1 for the flat piece and downhill followed by another 49min Z2 back up. And then obv. freewheeling back down for another 240XP.
Alex, I do workouts on the Alpe all the time too. It’s just a change of scenery and you get the bonus. I probably have 20 sets of wheels at this point. Everyone, just let people do their thing and stop making everything have to exist within your dumb boundaries ✌️
As a heavy racer with plenty of power…my racing career is 80% Crit City! Time to take a new height measurement though…
Oh man… i do all these…
Real question – if, as in #5, one has “shrunk” by six centimeters due to both age and injury (surgically repaired femur), but just finding this out recently when measured at a medical appointment, can one just change it to make it accurate without being called out for or suspected of “height doping”?
I think unless you’re a high-end racer, nobody is really paying attention! I certainly wouldn’t worry about it if it was me.
I’d love to see the cones mature and come to the ZRL points races. It would have been fascinating to see what happened on lap 1 of Richmond, maybe nothing to see here but it would be nice to know. Everything being based on just 20 minute power creates a weird dynamic at the very top of categories.
Great list! thanks for the laugh this morning…and maybe a little shame haha!
No shame. Zwift proud!
Guilty for the majority of those, but haven’t shaved my legs since my last outdoor triathlon. Not having to be aero is one of the things I like most about Zwift.
Forgot to put in the number in the last sentence on #8 😉
Definitely #8. It are only Zpower riders that rejoin the front group solo(!) in a B race. They are either not a B-cat racer, see #1 (and should have been taken care of by #7), or their power is not legit. I put my money on the latter.
#8 is a tricky one – I bought what I thought was a smart trainer (Elite Turbo Muin Smart B+) as it was about all that was available/in my price range this time last year, only to discover it isn’t controllable in Zwift and the power readings are a bit questionable. By August I had got hooked, and bought a power meter so I could race without feeling like everyone was looking at me in disgust. I like that this gives me power data outside too.
So yeah, dumb trainers may exaggerate your power, but on the other hand the criticism online against ZP people misses the point that some people just can’t afford to spend £600+ on a trainer. I would reckon very few ZP users are deliberately cheating. They’ve either made the mistake I made, or they just can’t afford the sort of trainer set-up that gives you power seen as accurate in Zwift. But are they riding and getting fit? Yes. So good. We should celebrate that really.
#8 for sure. But also #11, which is the reason I now only race in those that don’t have powerups. Don’t get me wrong, I love that aero helmet pu, but I’ve also had races where I was given nothing but + points. Nothing more aggravating than seeing all those aero pus floating above everyone’s avatar in the final sprint; really takes the wind out of your sails.
Literally takes the wind out of our sails!
Excellent and most entertaining (and quite revealing) article, Eric. But #1 is true. LOL! Sadly, #11 just doesn’t apply to me since my 20 min. power and 5 minute power are pretty much the same line. And my 1 min. power is just a bump above that. I’m not gonna say anything about my 15 sec. power. Guess I’ll just need to keep training this 57-year old motor with broken parts. Or buy a new 2021 Canyon Aeroad? Yeah, that’s a better idea.
Buy the Canyon, for sure. I hear it’s very fast!
My problem is I cannot get any HRM to work for even 1/2 an event. For this reason I stick to only open events, haven’t registered on Zwift power and raised my weight a bit so I can ride mid to back of C cat so I don’t raise any ire. I love to participate and do my best or get a good workout, like in Eric’s Uber Pretzel ride, but I won’t join anything serious until I get this sorted out.
All true.
As an extension to number 1.. light racers blaming the number of tanks (”clydesdales”) if they don’t perform as well on flat races, and tanks claiming there is too much of a weight penalty on hills to be competitive.
Oh for sure. This one’s already on my list for part 2!
Nice list… Zwift needs to introduce an after-hours session where deceit and deception is the name of the game… maybe offering us pirate tattoos for our avatars, and swapping kudos hands to bottles of rum in the back pocket…
My biggest ‘sin’ is to always end a ride at the lowest (altitude) point near me. Even if I’m knackered I will ride for another 5mins (sometimes uphill!!) just to profit from getting an extra free 500m+ of descending distance onto my ride. And why…?
I always end my ride with .0 or 0.1 km. It is a waste not to get those XP if you only have 500 m to go.
#9 I spent my hard earned drops on the F12 because it looks so darn cool in game! At 68kg and 3.5ish FTP, I’m not going to win any B races anyway so might as well have a cool looking avatar.
I walk the dog 15 minutes before a race and call that my warm up. (And FYI, it’s a terrible warm up)
I also toss my water bottles before the final climb of the race to save weight.
Too funny… I’ve been thinking my next bike will be a Canyon Aeroad with Zipp tires!!!
Wait, we can change our weight on the app? Cuz I recently lost 12lbs after COVID, and didn’t think I could adjust it. Though, half of them are back!
Using French words to sound more posh. How exquisite of you to have learned three words. Bleh
weight after a long hard ride is probably lower than first thing in the morning, easy to lose 1 kilo to dehydration.
My son tells me I should weigh myself before each ride and adjust my zwift weight as required.
I think the thing you missed is chucking your water bottle away as you approach the last climb or sprint for the finish!
Very good and so true, Eric. 6 out of 12. I still have not gone to the point of shaving my legs in winter (not yet at least ;). Only time will tell if I will go up to 7 out of 12 🙂
Thanks for this overview! I have yet to do my first race in Zwift, but it is good to know how to meet the expectations of the community…
On a more serious note, my current FTP is 3,25W/kg. According to the Zwift how-to this implies category B, but I do not think I stand any chance in that category right now. I think I’ll attempt an open race first and see where I end up.
1, 2, 6 and 8 😛
More for you:
1. Checking out the competition on Zwiftpower event signup before every race.
2. Consider anyone a micro cheater when they use power meters as their power source rather than their smart trainer to gain “more power”.
3. Get annoyed with bad people submitting dual analysis with a single power source. Get annoyed when they submit dual analysis with huge discrepancies (e.g +/- 10%)
At the end of the day you realize you are only racing in B category and you are taking this way toooooooo serious.